Role-playing with your kids
A great way to explore feeling with your children is by role-playing. In a non-judgmental or sarcastic way, take the role of your child in a situation where she has been struggling. Make it playful and spontaneous. For example, if your child doesn’t like one of her teachers because she isn’t warm with her, try this:
Mom: I’ll be the kid and you be the teacher.
Kid: Ok…(As teacher) Rachel! You’re not paying attention. Stop talking to Jenny.
Mom: (As kid) Sorry Miss Sarah.
Kid: (As teacher) Just stop it!
Mom: (As kid) Miss Sarah, I said sorry. Please don’t yell at me. It makes me feel bad.
Kid: (As teacher) Too bad!
Mom: (As kid) But Miss Sarah, I’m only 6 and it’s hard to sit still and concentrate all day. I’m not doing it on purpose.
You see, the brilliant aspect of this role-play is that it allows mom to put words to her daughter’s feelings in a non-threatening and experiential way. The child can feel empowered by being in the role of the teacher, but she will also be hearing a validation of her own feelings via the role of the mother.
This can be a really fun and effective exercise that helps children put words to their feelings and also helps them feel understood. Give it a shot when your child is feeling stuck in a certain situation. If you do try it, I’d love to hear how it goes. Send me an email to david@dbyounger.com. You can also email me if you have any questions about this or anything else I write about.
By David B. Younger, Ph.D
